3 Ways To Know The Apology Was From The Heart

Courtesy: FamilyShare.org

1. Feelings

Don't Do This

Don't apologize for someone else's feelings.
"I'm sorry you're mad" is not an apology.
It's condescending. 

Do This

Do Apologize for your own actions and attitude.
"I'm sorry I was rude," is an apology that takes ownership. 
Be specific about what you did wrong.
"I'm sorry for whatever made you mad" is NOT appropriate.

 

2. No Excuses

Don't Do This

Don't add an excuse to your apology.
"I'm sorry I was rude, but I was really irritated," means you're not really sorry.
You feel justified for the way you acted
and you expect to be excused.
There are no if's, ands or buts about this.

Do This

Do ask for forgiveness when you apologize.
"I'm sorry," left to itself is just a statement. It requires no response.
"Will you forgive me?" is a humble request that can rebuild a relationship.
When you ask for forgiveness, wait. LISTEN. Be prepared for them to say
"I need a minute, I'm not there right now"
When you are in the wrong, you are never owed forgiveness.
Be grateful when you receive.

3. Reciprocity is Irrelevant

Don't Do This

Don't expect a reciprocal apology.
Let's say you were in a fight. You were both rude and hostile to each other
now you've decided to be the brave one and apologize first.
Do not apologize expecting your spouse to apologize equally.
When you recognize you have done something wrong, 
just own your part of it. 
Period.
 

Do This

Do attempt to make a repair.
Once you get through that brutal, "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"
it's wise to make the next step and ask, 
"Is there anything I can do to make this right?"

Heart Felt Apology